dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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