Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
