Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
