The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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