Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
