is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
