well I can't set my house on fire every night
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
