Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
