Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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