Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
