just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
