oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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