my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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