It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
where are my eyebrows?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
