I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
