i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
