I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Still dying that you shit outside
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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