if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
