I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
being pregnant is like rehab
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
