I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I look better un-naked...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
