Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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