Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm both gender and math confused
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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