Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
