you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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