I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
