dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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