Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
