i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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