I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
