what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
