as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Randomize
