I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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