Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
