If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
