That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
