Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
