Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
