I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
