Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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