I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
