The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
