Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
