Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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