I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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