peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
