It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
