scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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