Duck Duck Cougar?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
