I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
