Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
