you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
