Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
