i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's the barista slut.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
