you would pick up someone in the library
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
